Topic chosen by ConnorThis one's a stretch, but should result in some imaginative fun. Facing out between Connor's history repertoire apposing Chris' geographic zing CvsC is ruffling up the feathers and taking bets. Here are each of our top 10 fantasy wars between nations. It should be known the while Connor missiles in his vast knowledge of factual data, Chris spews a blatant disregard for all things historically accurate almost as much as Michael Bay.
- - - - - - - - - - Connor - - - - - - - - - -
"Let’s get it on!"
10. -
Australia vs. New ZealandThe two oceanic nations has a bitter cultural rivalry that ranges from football to cricket to rugby to animal life. The Aussie/Kiwi War would settle these differences.
09. -
Iran vs. AfghanistanThis baby goes back to Biblical times. The Persian dynasties as talked about in the Old Testament in the book of Ezra as well as numerous books of the Koran speak of disputed territory in the Persian Empire. This territory is split across parts of Iran going as far east as Afghanistan. Before the Taliban were removed from power, Afghanistan was home to brilliant guerrilla fighters such as the Northern Alliance and the Muhajidin who successfully drove out Soviet forces who outnumbered them in monstrous numbers in the late 1970s/early 1980s.
08. -
Ireland vs. EnglandThe Celts and Brits have had a rivalry dating back to medieval times. In the past, the Irish have been viciously oppressed by the British. It’s time for this scrappy bunch of Celtic lads to fight back. Don’t you feel they would just put up such a bad-ass fight?
07. -
Anti-Castro Cubans vs. CubaCuban defectors usually inhabit southern Florida, mainly Miami. On two occasions, the John F. Kennedy’s administration attempted to assassinate and overthrow Fidel Castro with the help of thousands of anti-Castro Cubans. The first attempt in the Bay of Pigs invasion was a disaster. The second attempt never came to fruition. However, now that Fidel is out of power, the country is ripe to invade, and the anti-Castro Cubans could possibly consolidate power and create a second revolution.
06. -
Pakistan vs. IndiaThey are constantly at odds with one another regarding the disputed territory of the mountainous Kashmir. They have two of the largest nuclear stockpiles in the world. Let’s get it on!
05. -
Poland vs. GermanyWhen Nazi Germany invaded Poland in 1939; German forces outnumbered Poles at least 10:1 at every battle. The blitzkrieg was two vicious to fend off, but nonetheless the Poles put up a valiant effort knowing full well there was no hope. With German military power down to 19th on the world list, let’s see if #34 Poland feels like kicking some ass, Monte Cristo-revenge style.
04. -
Antigua and Barbuda vs. ChinaI’m not sure what would bring the tiny Caribbean nation and the Asian populous superpower to blows, but it could certainly be the best David vs. Goliath story ever, even better than the original! Antigua and Barbuda’s military is the smallest in the world totaling up at 185 members including reservists. The People’s Republic of China has the world’s largest standing army. Time for A&B’s
300 moment.
03. -
U.S. vs. RussiaThe Cold War left us with nothing more than a foreign policy case of “blue balls.” We were so ready to go, but the bitch never made anything happen.
02. -
China vs. JapanThe Chinese and the Japanese have every right to hate one another. Japan has served China some of the worst cases of brutality in Earth’s history for seemingly meaningless reasons. At the time of World War II, the Japanese had a far superior military force and in the Massacre at Nanjing, Japanese forces had beheading contests on Chinese POWs. Now, China is a permanent member of the UN Security Council and with the largest standing army on Earth, let’s see them kick some major Japanese testicles.
01. -
Israel vs. IranIranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad vowed to wipe Israel off the map. Israel didn’t take the words too kindly and has increased pressure on the U.S. and United Nations to do something about the terrorist factions within Iran. Ahmadinejad continues to mouth off and Israel continues to get increasingly pissed. Let’s see him continue to wave his cowardly finger at the Zionist nation with the largest nuclear stockpile in the Middle East. In there 60 year existence, Israel has repelled such Arabic invaders as Egypt, Iraq, Jordan, Syria, Lebanon, and Saudi Arabia. The conclusion of the battles with all of these countries was a significant Israeli gain of territory as well as a 1972 Miami Dolphins-like undefeated record. Bring it on, Iran.
- - - - - - - - - - Chris - - - - - - - - - -
"Who ever won a battle using tambourines anyways?"
10. -
Greenland vs. IcelandSure it may not actually be under anyone's (or possibly maybe it
is everyone's) control, but Greenland and Iceland already have battle scars: Greenland is melting like a Ninja Turtles popsicle in a black leathered interior car in a parking lot, but Iceland is being
ripped in half by the Mid-Atlantic Ridge as if it were on Greenland's side.....such an eeeevil ridge.
09. -
Haiti vs. Dominican RepublicJeez guys, that straight vertical line is too silly. Just get rid of it and think about the pending results. You'll have
all the best baseball players.
08. -
America vs. AmericaRed states vs. blue states, Roe vs. Wade, Hilton vs. Lohan, baseball vs. football, Pepsi vs. Coke, Shaq vs. Kobe, mustard vs. ketchup, Tupac vs. Biggie, Obama vs. McCain, America vs. America. You either love it or hate it.
07. -
Finland vs. Sweden vs. NorwayHovering over Northern Europe, the Scandinavian trio brew-ha-ha is a long time coming. The forgotten Finland and the smaller than most think Norway don't exactly stand a chance against the indie pop juggernaut of Sweden, but then again, who ever won a battle using tambourines, glockenspiels and wispy hooks that only consist of 'ba ba ba ba ba'?
06. -
Yemen vs. OmanThis one might actually exist, but Yemen and Omen have got to set their differences aside and have one select a different name, or at least a different suffix, otherwise (and I don't believe I'm alone on this one) I'm going to keep mixing them up on map quizzes.
05. -
Australia vs. New ZealandThis one's actually real! (as confirmed by Flight of the Conchords) and numerous soccer, rugby and cricket matches.
04. -
Southeast Asia vs. itselfIt sure
looks like it's fighting, so it may as well be fo' realzz
03. -
Luxembourg vs. LiechtensteinEastern European crumbs of countries, L. & L., are probably the most evenly matched face off on this list for the honorary battle of the smallest 'L' nation that frankly nobody really gives a damn.
02. -
India vs. the remainder of AsiaWay back before iPods and sliced bread and, um, tools, Gondwana decided it was going to break up with Laurasia citing the first ever "It's not you, it's me" explanation and began to drift away. Later on, it fell apart and India was at last free to itself. It happily drifted onward in its own ocean until BAM! Asia (part of Laurasia) sucks it up because it was greedy and wanted the biggest mountain on the planet and little piece of its former partner......like a creep.
01. -
Japan vs. FranceAs far as I know, no real conflict is actually present between the two, it's just a battle for downright coolest country.
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